Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Just Needed Some Writing Therapy

This is going to be a quick and not very thought-out post. And it will be mostly done in the form of a list, because I function well with lists. And writing helps me sort out my thoughts, so here goes.

I'm trying (somewhat) to create some balance in my life. Based on the fact that I have a tension headache, a knotted neck, canker sores on the inside of my mouth and a spinning mind...let's just say it's a work in progress. In the past week I've learned some things:

1.) A lot of my stress is self-imposed. For example, I'm stressed because I kind of stopped training and have a race in three days. It would be an easy run, except I set a slightly unrealistic goal for myself time-wise, and hate not meeting my goals. Which kind of defeats the purpose of my stress-reducing runs. And I should probably not be stressed about this, really. It's okay if I don't run like an Olympian. I can just aim for 2016 instead of 2012. :)

2.) I really loathe (really) not being in control of my future. I guess, really, none of us are. But the constant changing of my life lately has thrown me for a loop this year. My mentor and dear friend reminded me today that in life, we all have these "destinations" in our heads. Along the way though, there are always detours. You can a.) learn and celebrate and take everything you can from the detours or you can b.) be annoyed and stressed and barely make it through, trying to hit over a few of the cones along the way (I added that in, yup). I would say I'm living "a." right now. Just kidding. Yeah, definitely "b." And definitely trying to destroy those cones and knock over any signs while pressing the pedal to the floor. It's a good thing to remember and a hard thing to live. But it's something I am going to try - try hard to live. "A." that is, not "B."

3.) I still love fashion. Love everything about it. Love meeting over coffee and talking about denim. Love meeting a design friend at Gaia and talking about creating fashion blogs. It makes my heart beat faster. I don't really know how to explain it. But if you would like me to help create an outfit for you, I would love it. Really. In fact, I would give you a hug.

4.) I'd really like to get my hair cut. Pondering a style. I'd like something new and no bangs for a while. Unless I could look just like Rory Gilmore. They (bangs) get in my eyes and bother me. I may love fashion, but I'm no fashion slave. I like how they look though. Maybe I could get a bang wig. I wonder if they exist? If not, I would like to patent them.

5.) I need to take a break right now and relax. So, I'm going to finish writing some stuff for work and then drink some tea. And breathe. And contemplate the new fashion blog launch (coming soon!). And dream. Not about missing the race Saturday, which I've already dreamt twice. I would like to dream about chicken salad with celery and tiny spiral pasta noodles, which I was craving today. Intensely. Would have emptied my life savings for it (not). I would have given someone a dollar for it though.

Sweet dreams.


Brenda said...

HI Nicole,
I've enjoyed reading your blog and have learned much about you that I didn't know before. I could have used your fashion sense yesterday as I was looking for somethings for the rehersal dinner and jewelry for the wedding.
I also think it's funny that you dreamt about missing the race. I have those kind of dreams all the time when I have something big coming up. If it's a trip - I wasn't there when we left or I forgot all of my luggage. :)
Oh, I love Francis Chan. He spoke at several youth conf. I was at and a set of his DVDs.

see you soon

the Provident Woman said...

Deciding on a new hair cut it hard. It always leads me to getting the same one. I am just not brave enough to try something else.